I seem
to spend my whole life missing people. Friends, family, even mere
acquaintances. Whoever I’m not with at the time really. It is my total bugbear.
My journey through this life, like so many others, has involved meeting amazing
people, having amazing experiences and then moving on. On to a new place, new
people, new experiences. These new little chapters in my story often emerge
without me even really realizing at the time.
I must
stress that I am extremely fortunate and have suffered very little loss when it
comes to my loved ones. I must also stress that I am in a very happy
relationship and have great family and friends around me. Somehow though, I
always think about the people I no longer get to see (or see as much as I’d
like to) and yearn to keep those relationships alive.
“Now you just say, oh Romeo yeah, I used to
have a scene with him” (Dire Straits)
With exes
it’s a clearer line I guess. You shared a close relationship that ultimately
didn’t work out well, so you move on. But you will have shared many good times
too. Most of these people, yes, must remain in the past and quite frankly stay there! But sometimes there are the rare one or two that manage to stay on the Christmas list
aren’t there? The ones you still like to have the odd coffee with, they touched
your hearts that bit deeper and reached best friend territory. Some of us
manage to keep hold of a friendship post relationship. I am one of those. Well
I am one of those that has certainly tried. I have struggled in the past with
the concept that you should completely lose someone that once was so close
to you.
Obviously
though, these friendships can be complicated. Complicated by old feelings, new
girlfriends/boyfriends, and sometimes alcohol (yes it’s a bugger). Over the
years even the exes I hold dearest to me have become strangers. New
relationships must be prioritized and ultimately complicated friendships become
messy or just unnecessary and unwanted. Or like mine, with many other friendships, you simply
drift apart. Oh the drifting. Where you gradually see each other less and less,
and then not at all. Until one day you could walk straight past one another on
a train platform, brush past one another shoulder to shoulder, each in their
new chapter and not even recognize the other (yes this happened to me recently).
It is a sad reality.
“All I do is miss you, and the way we used to
be” (Dire Straits)
Yes exes,
but childhood friends, University mates, work pals and family too…we all move
on and away from one another, and in our new lives we’re all so damn busy. When
did life become so busy? My phone is all too used to me sending and receiving
the “Hello Stranger” messages. “Sorry it’s been ages, I’ve just been so busy”
and the “I miss you, lets pop something in the diary” and ultimately nothing
getting into the diary for at least another 3 months. Does any of this sound
familiar?
I hate
it.
However,
short of building a beautiful little community in which all the people I have
ever met and loved all live and work together so I can see them every day, I’m
not sure there is a way around it. And let’s face it, there are lots more
people out there to meet and love, so I suppose such a community would be a
rather boring, small minded reality. I mean, if I hadn’t moved on from the
first friends I met, I wouldn’t have met the next amazing set of friends and so
on. Let’s not forget you do meet some arseholes along the way too and at least you
can shake them off.
"Now and then I think of when we were
together" (Gotye)
Now at
the ripe old age of 26 I could count my close friends that I see regularly on
my hands, and I’m using regularly pretty loosely. Even with my current bezzies
it can be a struggle to find time in our busy schedules to simply just hang
out. But we bloody well try.
So to
all my lovely friends, old and new, near and far, just know this – I MISS YOU!!
Let’s catch up soon, yeah?
